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Just what we all need …

“I’m assuming that if she buys a £1000 dress, she’ll probably want a butterfly marbled armchair to sit on and some parrots on her wall,” says Manchester designer Matthew Williamson of his typical customer.

Fair assumption, I suppose, if you inhabit a world of freaks, cranks and show ponies.

Amazon deliveries failing to measure up
More tasteless Rice puddings

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